We had nothing to do at work today so I went home early and as I was driving I got to thinking. I can't complain. And for me that is quite a statement. There is no insanity, no looming specter of impending doom, no crap I need to do but am horrified about having to do, no need I have which is not filled, none of that. I am content. My situation is pretty good. I have good friends, good coworkers, I like my job, my car is working (and $20 of stuff saved me $1300 of repairs), this week the weather's nice, I get to run and now ever sometimes play an RPG again (Star Wars RPG) with a good group of friends, I've got money and benefits again. I was just driving today and felt free. Just free. I've spent so long struggling and worrying over stuff it's nice to take a deep breath and know that at the moment I have no worries. Of course I understand that nobody matures and develops without conflict but it's a welcome relief not to have any for once. I can actually appreciate what blessings I have now, and they are many. Even being single is a blessing for me. I can already feel time slipping through my fingers like grains of sand. I know this season will not last forever but I want to enjoy it while I can. This is a rare springtime in my life and I am thankful to God to be alive (rather than wishing He would kill me as I have a bad habit of doing when times get tough). Maybe this time will serve to strengthen me for the battles ahead or something. But for me now I just want to sit here happy, contented, and remember that God loves me and that no matter what crap life throws my way, that the bad things don't last forever either. So the next time I find myself sweating a dark night of the soul I can look back and remember that the winter is only a season and it is followed by spring. This time gives me the warm glow of hope, hope that I have not felt in many long years.